i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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