Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
