i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
