my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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