Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
