Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
