What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
