Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
