Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
