8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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