I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
