I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
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