It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
