I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I have demons in me.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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