Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
