Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
