i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
COCAINE IS GR8
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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