am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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