i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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