and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
