Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
