i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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