and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
not ubering you a puppy
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
