Dual....:-)
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
