Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
