we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
