My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
