He kissed a someone with a penis
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
