Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The uberlube is also flammable
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
