my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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