why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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