dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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