News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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