there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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