So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
