I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
