I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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