Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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