He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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