Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
