dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
