I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
