is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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