I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
