Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Randomize
