well I can't set my house on fire every night
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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