Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
