I will die if light touches me.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
