if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
