I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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