Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
