Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
